Phew! It’s been like forever since I’ve updated my blog! It’s just that work has just been extremely busy and chaotic over the last few weeks. Hehe it’s so easy to put the blame on work isn’t it? 😉 Well in my case, it’s really the workload folks. It’s been draining me a lot, not to say that I wanna quit or having any such thoughts, no no, I find it challenging in fact you know, I mean here I am been given a job of a lifetime which any fresh network graduate would literally crave for, and the irony is I’m not even from a technical background. And that’s why it’s even more challenging yet interesting for me. Yeah sometimes it does get a little too deep and technical for me, but I guess over time and experience I will get used and accustomed to it.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I was recently given the chance to lead worship. Let me just say it was a totally new experience. You know it’s one thing to just crank up the volume of your favourite praise and worship song and just sing your heart out and “lead worship” as though you are Don Moen or Ron Kenoly. Heh! 😛
But lead worship is more about just the songs. It’s more than just being musically inclined too. It’s your heart of worship. I guess that’s why the song “Heart Of worship” makes so much sense. Cuz when you remove all the music, the hype, the beautiful tone, you’re left with Jesus. And that’s where the core of worship is. Your job is not to make sure that others can focus Jesus, rather I personally find that, as a worship leader, your main job is to make sure that YOU are focused on Jesus.
And of all the weeks, that particular week where I was supposed to lead worship in my cell group turned out to be my bussiest and chaotic week ever. I even felt like just telling my cell group leader that I can’t do it. There were just too many things on my mind, and a lot of things were weighing me down. How on earth was I suppose to lead worship in such a condition? I struggled. Despite praying the night before and preparing for it, I knew deep down I was struggling. How am I suppose to lead others to focus on God when I myself am having difficulty in doing it? And I remember that night, just before I was about to begin my worship session, I just said “Lord, have your way in me”
And you know what? The worship session went so so smoothly. I don’t know how, but I at that moment, whatever I had prepared, whatever thoughts I had in mind about how I was gonna handle my worship session completely went His way. I just led in a very impromptu way and instead of me focusing and ministering to the members, I just let the holy spirit do His job. And that was one of the most beautiful worship nights ever. And you know what’s the best thing about worship leading? It inspires you to be closer to God 🙂