Sex, Lusts and the Holy Spirit!

I probably had one of the most insightful and thought-provoking discussions with my group of friends over the weekend. These friends are actually my work colleagues, whom I had previously spoken about in my earlier entries (Read Pilot Part 2: My New Found World).

The topics I brought up were ones which affect many young Christians today – lust, one-night-stands, cheating on your partner and so on.

It was interesting yet scary to see some of the response I heard. I began by asking my group of friends a question:

What would you do if you’re in a bar, and you’re a litte tipsy and you notice a really beautiful and sexy girl at the corner and you go up and talk to her and because she is friendly and nice (she’s abit tipsy herself), you both hit it off really well and half way through, she asks you to come over to her place, would you go, would you have sex with her?

One of my friends, Adam confidently answered,

Well it depends on the situation. I can’t tell right now whether I’ll do it, even though I know it’s wrong, but you can’t really say what will you do at that moment”

I began to counter his argument

Yeah but you can always try to prevent yourself from going that far, there are steps you can take to avoid that from happening

Another one of my friends, Simon answered:

But dude, it’s easy for you now to firmly say all this, but it could be a whole different thing when you’re in that sorta environment…for a split second there you’ll think there’s no harm in going over to her place, after all she asked for it”

I wanted to answer back, but he continued on:

The same goes with masturbation and pornography. You know it’s not a good thing and yet you still do it, whether you watch just 5 mins of it or 50 minutes, it doesn’t matter…but again at that point in time, you don’t see it “as being wrong”. Your mind is more focused on what’s happening in front of you.

I kept quiet for a moment.

And I began to once again restate my claim:

Yeah I know what you mean, but you can always prevent it from happening, for example not go on looking at an attractive girl that passes by you and start forming lustful thoughts in your mind

Then finally Adam told me off:

Dude you live in an idealistic world, you haven’t been in those tough spots, I have and from experience I am telling you, it’s not as simple as you think. Maybe one day you will learn it. It’s only when you’ve gone through it you’ll be able to fully understand.

I gotta admit I was abit taken back by that statement. “Is God’s law idealistic for today’s world? “ I began to wonder on my drive back to my home. No, it did not rattle my faith in God, but it just made me realize that I’m living in a tough tough world.

And I’m sure that the conversation I narrated just now is just a glimpse what young Christians out there face in their daily conversations with their peers. In one hand, they want to be seen as “fitting” with the current culture, but in the other hand they also want to be part of God’s chosen ones.

I for one had such a hard time trying to balance the two, to till the point that I just literally gave everything up; I gave up my “previous” lifestyle that was filled with filth, lust and everything bad that a young man could possibly do.

Let your will be done Father – Matt 6:10

Clearly what my friends were talking about was perfectly legitimate…in today’s context. In today’s world, sex is just like eating, it’s a human need.

I had once a friend trying to convince me that sex is important and that pre-marital sex is crucial to test sexual compatibility.

And the fact that “it could just happen in the moment” is also understandable. I mean you have the booze, the loud music, the attractive girl who is more than willing, the location, what more could stop you?

My answer is the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The holy spirit wasn’t simply given to us just for God’s purposes. The Holy Spirit guides us EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY! Yes it’s true that at such a situation depicted above, your human-flawed-moral conscience might fail you, that’s why we have the Holy Spirit, to guide us when we are not ourselves, why do you think some people tell you to pray when you get angry? Because the spirit of God can take control and put you in the right path.

Similarly, when you begin to lust over that cute hot waitress while sipping your Espresso at Starbucks, the Holy Spirit mode kicks in and nudges you to look away. No there is no time to even recall any scripture verse, the first thing the Spirit will do is to draw away your attention. Then slowly it will administer to you.

I say all this because it has happened to me one to many times. And most of the time, the spirit of God has been able to successfully divert my attention, but yes sometimes I do ignore the prompt of the Spirit of God and knowingly indulge myself. That’s wrong, a big no-no!

lYou wanna know how to overcome this? You wanna know how to take heed the guidance of the holy spirit? The answer can be found here and here

You need to endure it! You need to overcome, to persevere it. And yes it’s gonna hurt so so much, it’s gonna make you unhappy, make you miserable, but endure it, pray, ask God for support, tell God you want to serve him but you’re too weak, remember it’s in our weaknesses we are made strong by God’s amazing grace and power.

No one can serve to masters, and no one says going through the narrow gate is easy. But for what it’s worth, (you’re getting God’s grace, God’s love, you’re drawing closer to Him), I think it’s honestly worth giving it all up and following Him.

As for your friends; take comfort by reading this and this:

Have a blessed day!


9 responses to “Sex, Lusts and the Holy Spirit!

  1. *ahem* I found you. Am I supposed to? :p

    But yeah, you’ve covered an age old problem people always face. And your friend was right when he said that you probably will act different when you’re in the moment.

    That’s why I believe that it’s best to tackle the root of the problem, the root of lust – the heart.

    I guess that was also the gist of your post – to let the Holy Spirit work from inside out, so when the time comes, you can say “no”, even though every fibre of your mortal being yells “yes”.

  2. Great post! Sexual purity IS attainable. I find in my circle of christian friends that lots of people aren’t even trying because they feel it is a losing battle. How sad. Although it IS hard to do, the benefits are so worth it.

    Thanks for taking such a strong stand.


  3. thanks mark 🙂

    cynical : haha yes you “found” me…it wasn’t too difficult init?

    Jennifer: yay you’re finally here!! thank you for your kind thoughts on this ever “important-but-not-so-often-discussed” issues 🙂

    Peace be with all of you!

  4. Excellent post. I’m dealing with these issues with my kids. Most of the time they feel the Word of God is out of date for what they’re living through. Yet, when they hear what I’ve lived through and hear my testimony of how God got me through it they have no answers other than to keep listening. Keep the faith. I like your style!

  5. Sorry-got my blog address wrong in my comment.

  6. One more time-then I give up!

  7. I’m really sorry this is so bizarre.

  8. I just have one question: why on earth are you in a bar by yourself, drinking. That hypothetical situation was a set-up. The best way to avoid sin is to avoid temptation, which is why scripture tells us to flee TEMPTATION. It would be best never to be in that situation at all…

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