I’m no longer blogging…

Hehe got you by surprise with that title didn’t I? 😉 Yes the truth is I will no longer be blogging on this site anymore… I’ve moved to my old blogsite  I’ll be blogging my christian faith and stuff on that site from now on 🙂

And OF course Have Faith, my other christian blog is still very much alive. Do drop by 🙂

More than just Jesus-Is-My-Boyfriend Songs

It’s sad to see how people have some disregard for such powerful and intimate songs that assists us in viewing Him from a different angle. I lately had sometime to read through a couple of Christian blogs like this one and one of his posts got my attention big time. His post led me to this one 

In a gist, what is being portrayed here is songs that have “Jesus I Love You” or “You’re all I want”, lyrics are being labeled as jesus-is-my-boyfriend songs. I guess what really appalled me the most is how people look at things, I mean to bring songs which are meant for Jesus, our lord and savior, songs which are meant to bring about an intimate relationship down to a humanly-context and compare it to their own human relationships. Isn’t God far more worthy than that?

Here I some points I would like to share with regards to this topic:

  1. You can’t compare the love you have for Jesus the same way you would compare the love you have for your girlfriend/boyfriend. That’s two different love all together. God gave us feelings for specific purposes in life. The love that you have for Jesus is totally different. It’s not some warm-fuzzy feeling, or a feeling which makes your knees weak. Nor does it make your heart beat faster. It’s not a crush! Yet, the relationship you have with Jesus is an intimate one. The love you have with Jesus is one that is filled with thankfulness, gladness, dependence, acceptance. It’s the kind of love a baby boy would feel for his mother. He is not romantically in love with her, but yet he still loves and clings on to her. It’s a very personal and heart-felt one. 

And that’s what these songs are about. They aren’t mean’t in anyway to make Jesus feel like some boyfriend, rather these songs are meant to help us build that intimate relationship with Him. These songs are meant to show and remind us of the many facades of Jesus that He is not only a glorified king and a redeemer, but as a one who is always there for us, and loves us no matter how messed up we are.

Jesus doesn’t think like how mortal man would think. A mortal man would say “why are you wasting such expensive perfume on him?”, whereas Jesus would look at your heart’s desire.

  1. The second point I wanna make is that I’m 100% sure that God doesn’t care about corny cheesy lyrics. I guess we’re just soo used to seeing the outward appearance of things – the quality of the band, the voice of the lead worshipper, the “flow” of the worship till we forget what the true meaning of worship is. I mean when you go to a Praise and Worship session, are you there to judge and roll your eyes whenever any “corny” song is being played by the music ministry or are you focused at worshipping your God?  It’s the heart that matters, not the type of song. Remember the lines of the beautiful song “Heart of worship?”

I’ll bring you more than a song,For a song in itself, is not what you have required,You search much deeper within,To the way things appear,You’re looking into my heart 

Singing “Jesus, I will never let you go” may sound cheesy and boy-bandish to some people, but to God, it’s pleasing in his sight, because He knows you mean it.

  1. Finally a 3rd point I would like to make and this one comes from my own personal experience. Having being actively involved in corporate worship for sometime now as a member first and now as a worship leader, I value these songs. I have seen tears come out of people’s eyes whenever they sing such songs.  One of the reasons I believe this happens is because these songs have touched their hearts, not the same way like how boyband songs do. Boyband songs just create some sort of “rush, mushy” feeling, but I don’t find people having that sorta feeling with God. Instead their tears are a sign of repentance and longing for their beloved God.  With the help of the holy spirit, these songs help people focus and cry out to Him.

So go ahead, sing a love song to God, tell Him how much you adore Him, and how much you need Him. Tell Him how much you love Him and how amazing He is. The Lord delights in genuine, heartfelt praises.  J

My experience as a worship leader

Phew! It’s been like forever since I’ve updated my blog! It’s just that work has just been extremely busy and chaotic over the last few weeks. Hehe it’s so easy to put the blame on work isn’t it? 😉 Well in my case, it’s really the workload folks. It’s been draining me a lot, not to say that I wanna quit or having any such thoughts, no no, I find it challenging in fact you know, I mean here I am been given a job of a lifetime which any fresh network graduate would literally crave for, and the irony is I’m not even from a technical background. And that’s why it’s even more challenging yet interesting for me. Yeah sometimes it does get a little too deep and technical for me, but I guess over time and experience I will get used and accustomed to it.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I was recently given the chance to lead worship. Let me just say it was a totally new experience. You know it’s one thing to just crank up the volume of your favourite praise and worship song and just sing your heart out and “lead worship” as though you are Don Moen or Ron Kenoly. Heh!  😛

 But lead worship is more about just the songs. It’s more than just being musically inclined too. It’s your heart of worship. I guess that’s why the song “Heart Of worship” makes so much sense. Cuz when you remove all the music, the hype, the beautiful tone, you’re left with Jesus. And that’s where the core of worship is. Your job is not to make sure that others can focus Jesus, rather I personally find that, as a worship leader, your main job is to make sure that YOU are focused on Jesus.

And of all the weeks, that particular week where I was supposed to lead worship in my cell group turned out to be my bussiest and chaotic week ever. I even felt like just telling my cell group leader that I can’t do it. There were just too many things on my mind, and a lot of things were weighing me down. How on earth was I suppose to lead worship in such a condition? I struggled. Despite praying the night before and preparing for it, I knew deep down I was struggling. How am I suppose to lead others to focus on God when I myself am having difficulty in doing it? And I remember that night, just before I was about to begin my worship session, I just said “Lord, have your way in me”

And you know what? The worship session went so so smoothly. I don’t know how, but I at that moment, whatever I had prepared, whatever thoughts I had in mind about how I was gonna handle my worship session completely went His way. I just led in a very impromptu way and instead of me focusing and ministering to the members, I just let the holy spirit do His job. And that was one of the most beautiful worship nights ever. And you know what’s the best thing about worship leading? It inspires you to be closer to God 🙂

A quick one!

Hello!! I know it’s been like forever since I last blogged.  Well I have to admit that work has taken up a lot of my time, added to the fact that I temporary do not have internet access at home, so therefore the only time I can actually go online is at work, but when you’re at work, you just don’t have the luxury of time to just blog. There’s just so many things going on and the last week or 2 have been really really busy for me.

 

I know some of you have been worried and wondering what the heck has happened to me… Thank you so much for your kind concerns, its really comforting to know that you have who don’t really know you in person or anything and yet have that concerned feeling for you, wondering if you’re doing alright and stuff. Thanks!

 

Anyway rest assure I’m doing superbly well. I guess my last entry would have gotten some people wondering whether I was alright, and the answer is : yes, I’m really doing good here.

 

Now here’s a quick one about how my faith life has been:

 

I’ve lately gotten an opportunity to do lead worship at my local youth group here in church. It has been an awesome and wonderful experience. You know it’s a WHOLE lot more to lead worshiping that just standing in front and singing songs. It takes effort and a lot of preparation.

 

Well that’s all for now, I’ll write out more on lead worshipping when I have the time.

 

God bless

 

Him, Me and my Romantic Pursuits – Part 1

Again this is a 2 part entry simply cuz it’s just too long to hold as one post. Besides this is a very personal and intimate topic and I really have a lot to share.

 

 

The “lonesomeness” bug has hit me. And it has hit me bad. But seriously what can you do when you meet up with your ex-girlfriend after nearly 2 years? No I didn’t have any ill-feelings toward her, in fact more than anything else, I missed her dearly. It ended very abruptly and it wasn’t good at all. But I was very much naïve at that time, and I didn’t think so much of it then…not until I grew up and started realizing more about what love is all about.

 

Seeing her again really brought back memories, good memories, memories that I would often think and recollect back during some nights. But in all of this, I began to feel that something is missing. I feel hollow inside, sometimes.  I look around and when I see 2 people of the opposite sex holding hands and walking together, I realize THAT is what I am missing out. I’m missing out on romance and intimacy. I’m missing out the thrill and excitement of going out on a date.

 

And I guess that’s why I’m feeling alone. It’s bad enough that over the last couple of days, I have been sort of “keeping my distance” from him, and to top it of, feeling lonely makes it even worse and painful.

 

I was really in a messed up shape over the weekend. Though on the outside, everything seemed fine, I knew deep down I was in a middle of a storm. My heart was just sinking. Discouraged, disappointed, and depressed would have easily been the theme for the weekend.

 

I guess I was depressed and sad because meeting up with my ex really in a way showed me how much of  a fool I had been. I was sad that I had lost her and I could only now be a friend to her. I was upset because I felt alone. Even though I had friends from work, I still felt alone. I could never open up my deepest feelings or secrets with anyone from work for personal and professional reasons. And when it comes to these kind of issues, I don’t feel comfortable opening up to my parents either. It’s not that I don’t trust them or anything, but I feel what I could really use now is a good close friend of my age who understands me and is able to “lift me up”.

 

But I didn’t have anyone. And for 2-3 days I felt really miserable. And yet no one knew it.

 

But God knew how much I was hurting inside. He knew how “weak” I had gotten. He knew that I needed His affection. And He waited, while I continued seeking worldly solutions, never mind if they were temporary.  But honestly, I never found anything. In fact, I became even sad and discouraged.

 

And finally, last night, I came before the Lord. And I poured out everything to Him.  Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I finally knew the root cause of my problem. You see when it comes to other areas in my life, such as studies, work, family, I know exactly who to turn with much faith and trust. BUT not with relationships. Oh nono, I am very selfish when it comes to relationships. I forget Him, not entirely, but He is definitely not on my mind anymore. He is replaced by the twinkling eye or the unforgettable smile of the one I’m madly thinking about. Somehow He takes a backseat. I don’t know why I do this, but last night I realized, that throughout all my years growing up from a teenager with early crushes to my young adulthood life, whenever it came to relationships, I would not involve God at all. It’s not that I didn’t want His blessings or anything, but rather I wanted to enjoy the thrills of romance without His “supervision”. (I hope this somewhat makes sense to you!).

 

I’ll involve God when I’m ready

 

That was my attitude. How foolish I am to think this way! But yet you know, when they say “LOVE IS BLIND”, it really blinds you from everything, including God. I guess we can’t call that LOVE in the first place can we? Cuz God IS LOVE!

 

And so last night, I slowly began to realize that the reason why I always get depressed, and discouraged whenever it came to relationships, (This is not the first time I have felt this sort of discouragement and loneliness). God was not in it. And I didn’t want God to be in it for fear that He will just yank of my hopes of finding romance.  But in the process, I became more skeptical in trusting God in this area. I could talk to God about my hopes and dreams, but yet not about the girl I hoped, simply because I didn’t believe that He will just show me someone. Stupid I know, but that’s how flawed some human hearts are.

 

But He understood all this. I could just imagine He just being up there shaking his head thinking “My child, when will you learn to trust me with EVERY area of your life?”

 

And that was the apex of last night’s “conversation” with Him. For the first time, I poured out my heart with regards to this issue, I asked Him how come I could come to Him for everything and yet I couldn’t come to Him when it came to relationships and dating? And right there, He answered

 

“My child, have I not answered the things that you have requested for in the past?”

 

I thought for a while. I thought of the times when I asked him and marveled at how He responded to my requests. Not only did he just answer my prayer, He gave me the very best. Yes, I don’t know how God works in your life, but for me, He gives me the best, He goes beyond my expectations and He just makes me realize and reminds me that nothing is impossible for Him.

 

And I realized, that all this while, with regards to all my other areas in life, He has always given me the best. All areas, except relationships, why? Because I was a fool to not ask Him. I chose not to trust Him with finding me a suitable girl because I wanted to find my own and I didn’t want to wait for the next 5 – 10 years just to feel the excitement of romance.

 

How foolish I was to think that God wouldn’t understand what it feels like to “be in love”.

 

More in Part 2 😀

 

I think I am missing God…

You may be thinking whether this site has gone dead…well the good news is…nope this site is pretty much alive as the author is! The bad news…well there is no bad news.

 

Okay maybe there is, but I don’t know whether to call it BAD news to begin with, it’s just that things have been really quiet on my side. Life has been kind to me, but I wonder whether I really appreciate it at times. Rather than looking at the bright side of things, I tend to look on what I don’t have, what I am missing, and what I want. It’s really sad to some degrees because I am the one who usually gives that sorta talk/hope to people, especially my friends who weigh down their problems to me.

 

I kinda feel like a candle metaphorically speaking; I am able to bring some light, some joy and lots of smiles to those around me, yet when I am alone…I really feel alone. I feel that I am missing something, something is just empty.

 

Perhaps is God…no it IS God that I am missing, I checked my Godmeter a few hours ago, it showed close to empty. But you know what’s really strange? I just don’t feel like seeking Him…yet. No don’t get me wrong, I still love the Big Man, I still think of Him from time to time during the day, but yet…I somewhat feel I’m not ready for him yet, I am not ready to seek him yet.

 Have you ever felt that way?

Maybe it’s just work, maybe it’s alot of things I have been thinking about lately (family, friends, etc.). Recently I got news that my ex-girlfriend had recently come home for the summer holidays, and I actually called her up over the weekend, and even though we had already made up and become good friends again, I still feel something strange inside, something that I honestly can’t describe.

 

The messed up part is thinking more about it makes me feel worse :(, but at the same time, I can’t stop thinking about her. No I don’t plan to get her back at all, I’m honestly happy to be one of her friends, but yet something is stirring inside of me.

I guess it’s time to return back to Abba. And like I said before, even though I’m not ready to seek Him in full force, I must admit that I’m missing Him alot, I miss the way He just stirs my heart, I miss the way He gives me the confidence I need to embrace a new day, I miss the way He calms my heart, I miss the way He makes me rest.

 

You know what the funny part is, I know that He is the way, I know that He can fill my every desire, I know all of this, because I have been filled many times before. And yet, at this moment, I am purposely being hesitant. I guess I’m hoping my human emotions and feelings would temporarily give me some relief, some comfort, but I know at the end of the day, like that prodigal son, I will “return”, running towards my Daddy and just embracing him with all I got…

 

And you know something, the best part is, He will be just as happy to see me return.

 

Be patient with me Daddy, I’m coming towards You!

 

Eternal God, you know despite how far I go, or how long I’ve gone, I will always come back to you. Despite my own human ego, my flawed intellect, I know that I can do nothing without you. You alone can fill my hearts desire oh Lord and I truly and

honestly long to be with you. Guide me O gentle spirit, so that I that I may be able to see Your holy path and once again walk in the Light and in Righteousness. Fill me oh Lord with that same passion once again to seek you come before you. I need that passion that you’ve always stirred within me oh Lord, please do not forget me or leave me. Be with me oh holy spirit I most humbly pray and ask. Amen.

20 minutes of Solid worship

I hadn’t plan on blogging for the last few days as I have been really tied up with work plus I’ve been under the weather as well. But last night something tremendous happened, something so profound that I just had to write about it and share with you all.

 

I had been working last night till about 8pm and after watching some TV, I decided to read Tommy Tenney’s book The God Chasers. I was reading on a particular section on how we need to be “dead” in order to seek God ; dead meaning brokenness in spirit and repentance within the soul.

 

I thought about it for a while, and I suddenly decided to start praying. I am sincerely convinced that this was definitely a move/nudge by the holy spirit in me.

 

How about we seek God right now?

 

I didn’t want to at first because it was already getting late I had work tomorrow morning.

 

Nevermind, lets just seek him, lets put all our work worries, our sicky feeling, our happy thoughts, our plans for the next day and just come and worship before Him.

 

And I prayed. I started off by quietly calming my mind from all my humanly thoughts and boy was it a abit of tough effort in the beginning. I just had so many thoughts buzzing through my brain ; praise songs going blaring through the inside of my mind, but I was persistent and patient. Eventually after praying in tongues for abit, I could concentrate better.

 

I then begin by crying out to God for mercy and for forgiveness. I don’t know what made me do this because I usually start off by heaps of praises before God. Even though I felt I didn’t commit any major sin over the last few days, I still cried out before God. I was then reminded of the verse Found in Ps 51:17. The Lord desires a broken spirit, a broken spirit, the Lord will not despise.

 

I went on crying out to the Lord for mercy, and for forgiveness…and half way through I started asking God to show me His glory. I begged God to come down, and just show me His glory. I think this is one of the hardest plea I had ever cried out to God. I just wanted to see Him, and though I’ve always gotten some experience, nothing really matched to what I witnessed last night.

 

As I prayed really hard for God to show me His glory, suddenly I had this vision of this super bright light. Its radiant light was far stronger than the sunlight and it was so strong I just begin to tightly shut my eyes and immediately I went flat down and just begin to worship Him, crying out Truths about Him. I begin to cry out in my heart all the glorious names and titles of the Lord. And as I was flat down, I could still feel the light’s strong presence and it was such a surprising experience for me till I couldn’t open my eyes for some minutes. I just literally couldn’t open my eyes! I tried but they wouldn’t seem to come up. I am convinced that God was presence, He came with a powerful light and He blinded me for a moment there. When I felt I couldn’t open my eyes, I knew I was in His spirit, I knew that this is what I had wanted…and so sitting cross-legged on my bed with my head face down, I just assumed that position for some time.

 

By the time the whole experience was over, only 20 minutes had passed, but boy that 20 minutes had to sure be one of the best thing that had ever happened to me!

 

All it needed was just some effort on my part to concentrate on God and submission to His Spirit.  Now if 20 minutes can do so much…I wonder what 45 minutes can do?

 

I really don’t know, but I’m pretty sure He knows 😉